I have been struggling with my blog for a while now. Not the actual blogging part or finding time to blog. That comes easily (most of the time.) I've been struggling with it being public. I've never really thought about who reads it, who sees my pictures, who gets a look into our life. That is, until early August when I started paying attention to who follows my blog. Now just actual followers, but people who read my blog without following. Some people try to be sneaky and follow without "following." But that doesn't really work- You aren't actually being sneaky when doing that. You can still find a way to see who is viewing your blog.
I also noticed my friends reading it. I see my relatives reading it, relatives who I haven't seen since my wedding & some from even before that. I love showing off my family to them especially because they have never met Ryan, and now Jake.
With sharing your story to your friends and family, also comes sharing your story to complete strangers. I don't mind people I don't know reading my blog, I do it too. I'll admit that I follow blogs of mommies I don't even know. I look forward to their posts, to reading their words and seeing pictures of their sweet little babies. With that, there is also a downfall. Picture Theifs. People are gross out there. People steal other people's pictures on the internet and post them as their own and make up their own fake stories. & then you have stalkers. People who shouldn't read your blog, but do anyways. The second one is what I've been struggling with.
Do I quit blogging? Do I make my blog private? Do I quit sharing my story? I've been thinking about these options every day since December. I decided to try going private. I was overwhelmed by the emails I recieved of people who wanted to read. I was thankful for them. However, I also got comments from people that they tried viewing my blog but couldn't. I don't want to block my blog from people who actually care just because of someone who doesn't.
I decided to keep sharing.
I want to keep writing my story, our story. I enjoy sharing this with Tim. One day, I'll be sharing it with Ryan and Jake. To show them how much love they have, how much I care for them, how they are the best blessings in our lives.
So there you have it. & Now, I have some catching up to do.
I'll start with St. Patrick's Day. Do I actually celebrate St. Patrick's Day? No- I don't. As far as I go with the holiday is dressing up in Green. Which I did. Of course, I had to put Ryan and Jake in green as well.
We spent the day at the park at a birthday party. That was definitely a day where I learned for the millionth time that parenting is meant for two. Tim had to leave after only half an hour because he had to work. So I'm trying to be super mom and balance both kids. One wanted to go exploring and the other wanted to be held. I love holding Jake & I love exploring with Ryan. But both at the same time? At a park? With jungle gyms? Not so much. I couldn't chase Ryan up the jungle gyms and catch him at the bottom of the slide while holding Jake. Not to mention, the party just happened to run through 1:00 and past 1:00. Naptime. Perfect. Two babies wanting two completely different things and now they are both whiney because it's naptime.
Needless to say, the birthday party was not a success.