Day 360

Taking a break out of playing to watch some tv.  It only lasted about 10 seconds but I still thought it was pretty cute.

Looking Back

I always thought I would want Ryan to stay a little baby forever.  I'd always get sad when he got older, a week old, a month, 2 months, 6 months, 1 year, etc. etc.  But everyday he just gets cuter, he's funnier, he's fun to play with, he laughs all the time.  I'm loving all these new things he can do and understand.  I love to watch him walk around the house.  I like seeing which direction he will go in and which toys he plays with.  He loves all his trucks and cars the most.  He pushes them around the house for hours.  He gets so excited when I let him crawl up the stairs, he comes running into the bathroom when it's time for a bath and he hears the water running,  He (usually) sits perfectly still when we change his diaper or put clothes on him.  When you say "thank you," he will walk over to you and give you what's in his hands.  He'll watch tv when he's in his high chair eating, but not when he's playing.  I'm loving his personality and watching him grow everyday.  Sometimes I look back at pictures and miss the little baby he used to be.

I miss swaddling him.

I miss how poofy his hair would get after we washed it.

I miss the bassinet on my side of the bed & the little mittens.

Naps on the couch.

Sometimes I miss how cute he was with his pacifier- although I am glad we got rid of it at 7.5 months.

The boppy!  It still sits next to my bed even though I don't use it.

Sitting so nicely in the bumbo.

Laying around.

Sucking his thumb.  We only saw him do it maybe 3 or 4 times- but it was pretty cute.

& the little baby fist pumpin!

Love being Ryan's mommy.

Day 359

Digging through his toy box deciding what to play with.

The brown thing is this monkey that got for Christmas.  I put it away because it always scared him.  The monkey makes noises and rolls over when you walk past it.  I took it out today, Ryan checked it out for a long time.  He forgot about it, and when he walked in front of the monkey it went off!  He got this horrible look on his face.  So I turned it off and put it away again.

Never looking at the camera.  Brat.

Loves cell phones, just like daddy.

Day 358

Ryan fell asleep on our walk tonight a little after 7.  It made me sad.  I only got 3 hours with my baby tonight instead of 4.  =(

Day 357

I love watching Ryan play.  I've been trying to show him how to stick his shapes into the shape sorter.  I usually have to cover all the holes unless it's the right one, and he'll try so hard to shove his little shape into the hole.  He hasn't gotten it yet.  He hasn't figured out that you may need to move the shape around a little in order for it to fit.  He has one at Grandma R's house and he was able to get the circle shape into the hole.

I lined up Ryan's cars tonight and he would grab one and push it all around.  Grab another and do the same.  He loves his cars.  If he's playing cars and I take a car and ram it into his car- he giggles like it's the funniest thing.

Daddy's also been chasing him lately.  Well he always has, but now that he can walk it's so funny.  Tim will walk up the stairs and Ryan will walk over to the stairs and look up at Tim until he runs back down.  Ryan will try so hard to run away as fast as he can.  Daddy always wins though. 

Day 356

Happy 10th Birthday Elyse!  Since she isn't here to celebrate with- we celebrated by ourselves.  I made a cake, we put candles on it, and I sang Happy Birthday!  Tim thought I was silly for singing, but he let me make a wish! Ha.

& After Ryan & I had a 3 hour nap- we dug in to some cake.  Yuuum.

Tonight, as we were laying in bed, Tim felt the new baby kick for the first time ;)  His smile was priceless.

Ryan's first weekend at home.

We brought Ryan home from the hospital on Friday, June 18, 2010.  The first thing we did, was show Ryan his room!  We had worked on since February before he was born and he had everything he needed.

That evening, everyone came over for some sandwiches.  Mom, Dad, Grandma, Grandpa, Tim's parents, Caitlyn & Tom.

Now it was time for Ryan's first night at home!  It was actually pretty rough.  Ryan has always been such a good sleeper- just like mommy, but his first night, he wasn't!  Tim & I always said we wouldn't sleep with our baby.  That went out the window our first night home.  In the middle of the night, Ryan started crying, I fed him but he still cried so we slept with him in our bed.

Ryan's first Father's Day & Tim's first with his baby boy!

Great Grandma & Grandpa were so excited!

Something silly, I remember that Ryan had his first spit up today! My Grandpa was holding him and I had to get the camera and take a picture before we wiped him up.

Ryan's first walk.  It was hot out!  But Elyse, mom, and I really wanted to try out the new stroller.

& Lastly, Ryan's first bath.  I was scared to give him a bath so I made my mom do it while we all crammed into the bathroom.  It was mom, me, Tim, Elyse, Kylie, and Ryan.  & Of course, Elyse wanted to comb his hair again.  She loves to comb his hair.

I started this blog at the end of August, 2.5m after Ryan was born.  I want to start sharing his first 2.5m with you guys.  Hope nobody minds all the posts :)

June 16, 2010

I went in for my last doctor appointment on June 15, 2010 at 1:30 pm. I was 3cm dilated and 60% effaced. I had already previously agreed to be induced on June 16th. But when I went in for my last appointment, I was having second thoughts. I wasn't scared about being induced. I think people make up stuff to try and scare people out of inductions. My baby was 40 weeks on June 16th and fully done cooking in my stomach so I knew he would be okay. However, when I went in for my last appointment, I told my doctor I wanted to reschedule my induction. I was scared to give birth. I was scared to bring my baby home. To care for him for the next 18 years. What did I know about taking care of a brand new person? Pretty much nothing. Doctor told me I was already scheduled to arrive at 7:30 the next morning.

7:30am? As in less than 24 hours? I've spent the past 9 months dreaming about my baby, but now I suddenly felt like I wasn't ready. I had to hold back the tears. She told me I would go in, get my IV, blur blur blur. I couldn't even listen to what she was telling me. All I was thinking was "Do not cry, do not cry."


I left. The tears started pouring right when I got into my car. I called my mom and couldn't even talk. I told her I was being induced the next morning. She told me I would be okay & that I would love the baby as soon as I saw him. & I told her I was scared. I cried the whole way home.

When I got home, Tim & Elyse were out and I layed in bed and cried some more. This already made me feel like a terrible mother.

Tim came home, I told him the induction time, he looked at me in shock. But he said he was excited. I took Elyse and Kylie to gymnastics. We got home and I started preparing for my son. There was still so much stuff I had to do. My mom came in this night too, which helped a lot. Tim & I packed my hospital bag. Ryan's was already packed. We cleaned up a little. Then I fell asleep about 11 or 12 that night.


It was really hard for me to have a good night's sleep. However, I woke up feeling like a completely different person. "This is the day I become a mommy." I wanted my little boy. I wanted to hold him, love on him, and kiss him. I straightened my hair and got dressed. I woke Tim up, he took a shower. I ate a piece of toast with jelly on it. Mom & E woke up and gave me hugs. My mom was going to stay with Elyse for a few hours while we got situated in the hospital.

Tim & I drove to the hospital. We arrived on time. We walked to labor and delivery. Right as I was checking in my nurse walked up. Her name was Genevieve. She had a nursing student with her named Donna. We walked to our room. 1108. Tim put our stuff down on the counter. I went into the bathroom to change into my gown. The ugly green hospital gown. I told them I wanted a prettier gown but they didn't have any. Then she had me lay in my hospital bed where I would spend the next 9+ hours. She asked me a million questions. Finally, she hooked me up to an IV. My labor officially started at 9:30am. They hooked me up to pitocin. My doctor showed up and broke my water. It felt pretty gross. Like a huge pee, actually more than that. I can't quite describe it. My doctor checked my cervix. I was 5cm and 80% effaced. Already moving quite quickly. I was having contractions previous to the water breaking and pitocin. Which makes me believe Ryan would have came on his due date anyways.

I felt contractions for quite a while. I didn't think they were too bad. I knew they would get worse. I asked for my epidural about 10:55 or so. The lady came in at 11:01 to give me my epidural. Which, is not that bad. Not compared to the contractions. I sat up. She cleaned my back. They made Tim sit down in a chair, said that men have fallen down before. Genevieve sat in front of me, I leaned on her and curled my back. I got the epidural, and noticed that only my left side became numb. The lady had to redo it. The second time she did it, it worked on both sides. However, the left side was crazy numb and the right side was just becoming numb. It was the weirdest feeling ever. I could not feel my legs at all.


Genevieve kept having me move from right side to left side every half hour or so. There was a time when I rolled to my right side and Ryan stopped recieving as much oxygen, I had to wear an oxygen mask & roll back over to my right side. She said he probably was laying on the umbillical cord.


Genevieve checked me a while later, I was now at 6cm. She said she felt my baby's hair. My baby had hair! The nursing student asked me if she could feel my baby's hair and I told her she could. Donna was so excited to feel Ryan.


I can't quite remember the order. Kim & Chrissy showed up first. They left and then my mom and Elyse came. Tim's mom also came in to see me. Tim's sister, Jen, & Wes showed up as well. I was dozing in and out by this time.

I was getting pretty hungry. & I was sleepy. The labor wasn't too bad with the epidural.


I just remember that at about 3:45 Genevieve checked me again and I was at 9 1/2 already. 9 1/2?! WOW!

@ 4:10, Genevieve told me that it was time to push. Everyone started walking out of the room. I told Tim to ask both of our moms if they would like to stay. They both did. My contractions were extremely close together at this point. I could not feel much pain, but I could still tell when the contractions were coming. I had to push 3 times for 10 seconds w/ every contraction. Tim was holding up my left leg, Donna was holding up my right leg, Genevieve was putting some lube stuff on my cervix to help Ryan come out, and Our moms were up on my left side by my head. My mom was holding my oxygen mask on me in between contractions. That thing was starting to annoy me. I told them I didn't want to wear it anymore, but she said I had to. I started crying, it hurt too much to push. I didn't want to push. I wanted Tim. I kept pulling him closer to me so I could feel his face.

My doctor showed up at about 4:45pm. She took over. People started getting on my nerves telling me to push. I WAS pushing. Dr. Riley then told me she was going to use a vacuum on my baby. I asked a million times if it would hurt the baby. I didn't want anything to hurt my baby. The doctor told me to look down, I looked and saw a head full of hair on Ryan. I had to push some more to get his shoulders out. I pushed for a total of 45 minutes and my baby came out at 4:55pm. She asked Tim if he wanted to cut the umbilical cord. He did. Then they layed Ryan on me. & He was perfect. The most beautiful little baby I have ever seen.

The nurse took him again. They weighed him. 7lbs 11.4 oz. & 20 inches long. They cleaned him up a little. Wrapped him like a little burrito and gave him back. He was still perfect. Elyse was dying to see him. So someone went to get Elyse. Tim held Ryan, both of our moms did. & then Elyse.

Genevieve and Donna left, and now I had a new nurse. Her name was Jamela. She gave Ryan his first bath. Jen, Wes, Elyse, & Tim watched the nurse give Ryan a bath. I was eating a Chile Pepper burrito that my mom had brought me. He cried during his first bath. I got to watch from across the room. He liked it when she washed his hair. Elyse got to comb his hair for the first time.

At this point, my epidural had worn off. I was in the worst pain. I felt miserable. The nurse got me some pain medicine. I took it, went to the bathroom, and threw up my burrito. I was crying and whining. I hurt so bad. I could barely even think. The rest of the night was such a blur.

When I was wheeled off to my couplet room with Ryan, I couldn't even hold my baby, I was about to fall off my wheel chair my behind hurt so bad. We got to our new room, 1312. I felt like I had to use the restroom. The nurst took me to the restroom, where I passed out & cried the whole time because I was in so much pain. I barely even held Ryan my first night because I hurt so bad. I couldn't sleep. Every position I was in hurt.


I don't remember much. Tim went to the nursery with Ryan (I don't remember them taking him) to weigh him. He was now 7lbs 10 oz. I was okay breast feeding him, it was hard with the colostrum, but I knew it was what I wanted to do for my baby, so I kept trying.


Day 2, we had more visitors. Still everything is such a blur. I spent more time with Ryan. Was able to hold him now that I was getting pain medication every 4 hours. He was still perfect. Ryan's pediatrician came to see him at about 7:30am, she told me he was perfect.

The middle of the night was pretty rough. Ryan was screaming, I could not get him to latch on. It took me about an hour. I called the nurse and she was helping me and stayed with me the entire time until Ryan latched on. Loved this nurse too, forgot her name. I had so many different nurses during my stay.

Day 3, I was finally able to get up and move around. Ryan was able to be discharged. My DR. came in about 4:30 and told me I was good to go.

Some of you already know, I had complications after having Ryan because I had a pretty bad hematoma- that lasted for 6m until it was small enough to not bother me anymore.  It's still there though & we're hoping it won't cause any problems with #2.

Day 355

Baseball game w/ Mommy & Daddy! 

Day 354

Does anyone else love to read books? 

When I was a little girl, I remember my dad always taking me to the library.  It was always such a special occasion.  The library in Yuma is a lot bigger than the libraries in Tucson.  Probably because Tucson has a lot of libraries and Yuma doesn't.  I'd always run down the stairs when we got there and just browse the books.  When you get to the bottom of the stairs, you're at the chapter books, when you walk over to the far left you're at all the picture books.  I always loved the chapter books.  Some of my favorite books were the Baby Sitter's Club & Baby Sitter's Little Sister.  I'd read my books the whole way home from the library.  A few times, we'd stop at Dairy Queen on the way back and he'd buy me some ice cream.  My parents always let me stay up later at night if I was reading a book, which I usually was.  Sometimes when I really liked a part of a book- I'd read the part outloud to my self.  I remember one time laying in my bed reading and I said outloud, "Can I be a frog? Can I?"  I thought it was so funny, until my brother Steven jumped out from under my bed mocking me.

In 5th grade, we used to get tickets for doing our homework.  We were required to read 20 minutes a night.  For every 10 extra minutes we read, we'd get an extra ticket.  I always got extra tickets.  I would read for hours every day.  At the end of 5th grade I had read the most minutes in my class.  My teacher gave me a $20 gift card to Barnes and Noble and she let me choose a book from the class library.  I chose "Are You There God, It's Me Margaret."  I never did read that book.  But I did use my giftcard to buy more books.

As I grew older I started loving books even more.  Especially in college.  I always had hour gaps in between classes my freshman year.  I'd buy books from the UofA bookstore, then walk up to the top of the Student Union, lay on the couch and read my books.

I'v read books up until having Ryan.  The day I gave birth to Ryan I was reading Tori Spelling's Mommywood.  & I hadn't read a book in almost a year after I had Ryan.  I started reading again when Emily Giffin's Heart of The Matter came out in paperback at Target.  I bought it the same day and had it read in about 6 days.  I forgot how much I loved reading books.

I decided it was time to start reading again.  I usually read in bed after my shower and before I fall asleep.  Elyse's last week here, we went to the library.  She loves the library and she'll lay in bed and read books with me.  I re-read Emily Giffin's Something Borrowed and Something Blue.  I would read the rest of them but I let my mom borrow them.  If you haven't already read them- You need to!  I love her books.  Then I read Kate Gosselin's I Just Want You to Know: Letters to My Kids on Love, Faith, and Family.  Which I loved because I love reading about kids and I love her kids. Unchartered TerriTori- by Tori Spelling (love her too!) & House Rules- by Jodi Picoult- another good one.

I had read Sloppy Firsts & Second Helpings (Megan McCafferty) back in college.  & Charmed Thirds a few years ago.  I saw the Fourth Comings & Perfect Fifths last time I was at the library.  Since I already started that series- I need to finish it.  Except I can't completely remember how the first 3 went so I had to check out all of them.

Same with the Shopaholic books.  Becky Bloomwood can bug me a little bit.  Her shopping addiction can be a little much.  But just like the Sloppy First books, I had read most of the other Shopaholic books in college.  So when I saw Mini Shopaholic about her daughter, Mini, I had to get it.

Fly Away Home is by Jennifer Weiner.  I first started reading her books right when I got married.  Loni came off the plane holding "Good in Bed." & she had just finished it so she gave it to me.  I've been hooked on her books ever since and have read all of them.  This is the only one I haven't.  I'm on chapter 3.

The last two books- How to Bake a Perfect Life & Secret Daughter, I saw them at Target so I wanted to check those out too.