June 16, 2010

I went in for my last doctor appointment on June 15, 2010 at 1:30 pm. I was 3cm dilated and 60% effaced. I had already previously agreed to be induced on June 16th. But when I went in for my last appointment, I was having second thoughts. I wasn't scared about being induced. I think people make up stuff to try and scare people out of inductions. My baby was 40 weeks on June 16th and fully done cooking in my stomach so I knew he would be okay. However, when I went in for my last appointment, I told my doctor I wanted to reschedule my induction. I was scared to give birth. I was scared to bring my baby home. To care for him for the next 18 years. What did I know about taking care of a brand new person? Pretty much nothing. Doctor told me I was already scheduled to arrive at 7:30 the next morning.

7:30am? As in less than 24 hours? I've spent the past 9 months dreaming about my baby, but now I suddenly felt like I wasn't ready. I had to hold back the tears. She told me I would go in, get my IV, blur blur blur. I couldn't even listen to what she was telling me. All I was thinking was "Do not cry, do not cry."


I left. The tears started pouring right when I got into my car. I called my mom and couldn't even talk. I told her I was being induced the next morning. She told me I would be okay & that I would love the baby as soon as I saw him. & I told her I was scared. I cried the whole way home.

When I got home, Tim & Elyse were out and I layed in bed and cried some more. This already made me feel like a terrible mother.

Tim came home, I told him the induction time, he looked at me in shock. But he said he was excited. I took Elyse and Kylie to gymnastics. We got home and I started preparing for my son. There was still so much stuff I had to do. My mom came in this night too, which helped a lot. Tim & I packed my hospital bag. Ryan's was already packed. We cleaned up a little. Then I fell asleep about 11 or 12 that night.


It was really hard for me to have a good night's sleep. However, I woke up feeling like a completely different person. "This is the day I become a mommy." I wanted my little boy. I wanted to hold him, love on him, and kiss him. I straightened my hair and got dressed. I woke Tim up, he took a shower. I ate a piece of toast with jelly on it. Mom & E woke up and gave me hugs. My mom was going to stay with Elyse for a few hours while we got situated in the hospital.

Tim & I drove to the hospital. We arrived on time. We walked to labor and delivery. Right as I was checking in my nurse walked up. Her name was Genevieve. She had a nursing student with her named Donna. We walked to our room. 1108. Tim put our stuff down on the counter. I went into the bathroom to change into my gown. The ugly green hospital gown. I told them I wanted a prettier gown but they didn't have any. Then she had me lay in my hospital bed where I would spend the next 9+ hours. She asked me a million questions. Finally, she hooked me up to an IV. My labor officially started at 9:30am. They hooked me up to pitocin. My doctor showed up and broke my water. It felt pretty gross. Like a huge pee, actually more than that. I can't quite describe it. My doctor checked my cervix. I was 5cm and 80% effaced. Already moving quite quickly. I was having contractions previous to the water breaking and pitocin. Which makes me believe Ryan would have came on his due date anyways.

I felt contractions for quite a while. I didn't think they were too bad. I knew they would get worse. I asked for my epidural about 10:55 or so. The lady came in at 11:01 to give me my epidural. Which, is not that bad. Not compared to the contractions. I sat up. She cleaned my back. They made Tim sit down in a chair, said that men have fallen down before. Genevieve sat in front of me, I leaned on her and curled my back. I got the epidural, and noticed that only my left side became numb. The lady had to redo it. The second time she did it, it worked on both sides. However, the left side was crazy numb and the right side was just becoming numb. It was the weirdest feeling ever. I could not feel my legs at all.


Genevieve kept having me move from right side to left side every half hour or so. There was a time when I rolled to my right side and Ryan stopped recieving as much oxygen, I had to wear an oxygen mask & roll back over to my right side. She said he probably was laying on the umbillical cord.


Genevieve checked me a while later, I was now at 6cm. She said she felt my baby's hair. My baby had hair! The nursing student asked me if she could feel my baby's hair and I told her she could. Donna was so excited to feel Ryan.


I can't quite remember the order. Kim & Chrissy showed up first. They left and then my mom and Elyse came. Tim's mom also came in to see me. Tim's sister, Jen, & Wes showed up as well. I was dozing in and out by this time.

I was getting pretty hungry. & I was sleepy. The labor wasn't too bad with the epidural.


I just remember that at about 3:45 Genevieve checked me again and I was at 9 1/2 already. 9 1/2?! WOW!

@ 4:10, Genevieve told me that it was time to push. Everyone started walking out of the room. I told Tim to ask both of our moms if they would like to stay. They both did. My contractions were extremely close together at this point. I could not feel much pain, but I could still tell when the contractions were coming. I had to push 3 times for 10 seconds w/ every contraction. Tim was holding up my left leg, Donna was holding up my right leg, Genevieve was putting some lube stuff on my cervix to help Ryan come out, and Our moms were up on my left side by my head. My mom was holding my oxygen mask on me in between contractions. That thing was starting to annoy me. I told them I didn't want to wear it anymore, but she said I had to. I started crying, it hurt too much to push. I didn't want to push. I wanted Tim. I kept pulling him closer to me so I could feel his face.

My doctor showed up at about 4:45pm. She took over. People started getting on my nerves telling me to push. I WAS pushing. Dr. Riley then told me she was going to use a vacuum on my baby. I asked a million times if it would hurt the baby. I didn't want anything to hurt my baby. The doctor told me to look down, I looked and saw a head full of hair on Ryan. I had to push some more to get his shoulders out. I pushed for a total of 45 minutes and my baby came out at 4:55pm. She asked Tim if he wanted to cut the umbilical cord. He did. Then they layed Ryan on me. & He was perfect. The most beautiful little baby I have ever seen.

The nurse took him again. They weighed him. 7lbs 11.4 oz. & 20 inches long. They cleaned him up a little. Wrapped him like a little burrito and gave him back. He was still perfect. Elyse was dying to see him. So someone went to get Elyse. Tim held Ryan, both of our moms did. & then Elyse.

Genevieve and Donna left, and now I had a new nurse. Her name was Jamela. She gave Ryan his first bath. Jen, Wes, Elyse, & Tim watched the nurse give Ryan a bath. I was eating a Chile Pepper burrito that my mom had brought me. He cried during his first bath. I got to watch from across the room. He liked it when she washed his hair. Elyse got to comb his hair for the first time.

At this point, my epidural had worn off. I was in the worst pain. I felt miserable. The nurse got me some pain medicine. I took it, went to the bathroom, and threw up my burrito. I was crying and whining. I hurt so bad. I could barely even think. The rest of the night was such a blur.

When I was wheeled off to my couplet room with Ryan, I couldn't even hold my baby, I was about to fall off my wheel chair my behind hurt so bad. We got to our new room, 1312. I felt like I had to use the restroom. The nurst took me to the restroom, where I passed out & cried the whole time because I was in so much pain. I barely even held Ryan my first night because I hurt so bad. I couldn't sleep. Every position I was in hurt.


I don't remember much. Tim went to the nursery with Ryan (I don't remember them taking him) to weigh him. He was now 7lbs 10 oz. I was okay breast feeding him, it was hard with the colostrum, but I knew it was what I wanted to do for my baby, so I kept trying.


Day 2, we had more visitors. Still everything is such a blur. I spent more time with Ryan. Was able to hold him now that I was getting pain medication every 4 hours. He was still perfect. Ryan's pediatrician came to see him at about 7:30am, she told me he was perfect.

The middle of the night was pretty rough. Ryan was screaming, I could not get him to latch on. It took me about an hour. I called the nurse and she was helping me and stayed with me the entire time until Ryan latched on. Loved this nurse too, forgot her name. I had so many different nurses during my stay.

Day 3, I was finally able to get up and move around. Ryan was able to be discharged. My DR. came in about 4:30 and told me I was good to go.

Some of you already know, I had complications after having Ryan because I had a pretty bad hematoma- that lasted for 6m until it was small enough to not bother me anymore.  It's still there though & we're hoping it won't cause any problems with #2.