Everyone has their fears right before they are about to become parents. At least I sure did. When I was pregnant with Ryan I got a lot of advice from other people. Some of it went in one ear and out the other. Someone seriously told me that if I didn't wear maternity pants my baby might come out with autism, people told me to put rice cereal in his bottle, what brands of diapers to buy, how to cure teething, not to co-sleep, blah blah blah.
There is one girl I work with who I find comfort in talking to. When I was pregnant with Ryan one of the first things she told me was "Having a child is like falling in love with someone new, and the feeling never goes away." She has 4 children who are all in elementary school now. She was telling me how she still thinks her children are the best things in the world, how she misses them when she's not with them and she thinks about them all the time.
I have had Ryan in my life for over 2 years, and Jakey for over 8 months. They are still brand new to me but I find myself more and more in love with them as each moment passes. If you pass me in the hall at work and ask me how my boys are, my response is probably "perfect."
Ryan and Jake ARE perfect. They bring so much meaning to my life. They bring smiles and laughter into our home. When I'm at work, I miss them. During my drive home from work, I'm thinking about them wondering what they're doing. When I lay them down for naps, I miss them. When I put them down in their cribs at night, I miss them. Sometimes I sit on the computer and read my blog over and over or go through my facebook albums and look at their pictures.
My hope is that my boys will always know how loved they are, how complete they have made my life and Tim's.
My sweet little Ryan Michael. I can't get enough of him. He learns new things, new words, new emotions every day. He has the silliest little dance moves. He is so carefree and funny. He knows how to make mommy and daddy laugh and enjoys knowing he has the power to make us laugh uncontrollably.
Jakey is becoming more independent. He's crawling everywhere on his hands and knees, he pulls himself up on everything. He's finally sleeping through the night regularly. He laughs and smiles so much. He's growing too fast.
When was the last time you just sat back and looked at your life and realized how blessed you are? Sometimes I think about it, and I feel completely overwhelmed. Of all the babies in the world, God blessed ME to have the best ones, the sweetest ones, the most perfect. He chose me to be the mommy to these two innocent human beings.
I hope every mommy out there looks at their children and realizes how blessed they are that they were chosen to parent the children they have. To have these little lives to mold and help guide through life. I pray to God that my children turn into amazing adults, I want them to change the lives of everyone they meet. They sure have changed mine.
Ryan and Jake are snuggled up in their cribs with their blankets and I'm sitting here looking at their pictures on the computer. Tomorrow is Friday which means that at 4:00 tomorrow afternoon I'll be home and get to spend the weekend with them.
I peek in on them a few times every night and just watch them sleep, watch them breath, watch them dream. If anything is ever wrong in the world, you can watch your baby sleep, and suddenly everything seems right.
I am so, so blessed.