Sunday, December 30, 2012

Our First Year With You

Jake Tyler-
It has been 365 days since I first laid eyes on you.  Actually your first year was so special you got an extra day, 366 because it was a leap year.  It has been 366 days since I met you for the first time, got to hold you and and form a relationship with you.  It has been 366 days since my heart doubled in size.  You see, when I was pregnant with you I was so worried that I wasn't capable of loving someone else as much as I loved your brother.  Boy was I ever wrong.  I did love you.  I loved you just as much as I loved your big brother and my love for him grew the day you were born also.  You turned Ryan into a big brother and he is so crazy about you.
I will continue to love you more and more as each second passes.  I spend so much time just watching you in awe at how sweet you are.  You grew inside my belly.  I created you.  Your dad & I created someone so perfect and that's pretty amazing to me.
It hasn't always been easy taking care of you.  You were born in the wee hours of December 30, 2011.  You came into this crazy word at 3:34 am.  You were already letting momma know that you were a little fire cracker.. you would do things when you wanted.  I didn't even have time to breath when we got to the hospital.  No IVs, no pain meds, nope, you wanted out.  Maybe you just wanted momma.. like you always do now, a  year later.
At just 5 weeks old we found out you had milk protein sensitivity.  I am so sorry for those many, many glasses of chocolate milk that mommy used to drink that upset your tummy.  I would take it back if I could, I never meant to cause you any pain.  I quit eating any dairy as soon as I found out it bothered you.  It made you a little less whiney.  Whiney isn't the word.  You loved to scream.  And scream. And scream.  Poor momma spent so much time trying to calm you down.  I hated watching you cry yourself to sleep.  Momma spent some nights crying herself to sleep right along with you.
As you grew a little older your crying days came less and less but they were still there. In fact, you were a little whiney for about 8 months. Thankfully, one night, over night the first weekend we moved into our new house, you turned into a brand new baby! You started loving life. You started spending more time hanging out instead of crying. You became a little people watcher. Always sitting back and observing the world and soaking it all in. You became more relaxed. Often spending hours just hanging out on mommy's hip or snuggling with Daddy.
You became your big brother's little side kick. I watched him fall in love with you. What an amazing bond you two share that will only continue to grow as the years pass us by. You two are the best parts of your daddy and me. Our souls just walking around playing outside of our body. We love you guys more than you will ever know.
Now that you are ONE, I still spent a lot of time holding you. But you still like to crawl around on the floor playing with all of your toys. You are becoming so independent. I'm not sure when you got so big but it is an absolute joy watching you become your own little person.
You are an eater.  You love to eat.  I think your favorite food is probably eggs.  You love eggs and eat them all up whenever they are on your tray.  You love to snuggle.  You love to laugh.  You also love to sleep just like mommy.  You go to bed around 7:45 and don't wake up until the next morning around 9:30.  & after all that sleep you still take a 3 hour nap.
Last night we celebrated your first year of life with you with some of the people who love you most.  You loved every minute of it, from all the people, to hotdogs and your very first cake, your presents and balloons.  You were such a good baby.  So relaxed and laid back.. just like you always are.  Just like I hope you will always be.  I hope you always go with the flow and enjoy every minute of life just as you do now.
I wish so much for you.  I hope you live an amazing life and make the best out of it.  I hope you are always independent yet loving.
I could never, ever put into words how much joy you have brought into my life in just 3656days. I can't believe it's already been a year since I first laid my eyes on those big blue eyes. I look forward to spending many, many more years with you.
Don't ever forget how amazing you are.
I love you more than life.
Happy first birthday little love of my life!