As moms, we have so many responsibilites. We cook, we clean, we take care of the house, the kids, and even our husbands. When you throw in a job to the mix, it adds even more responsibility. Don't get me wrong, I love my job, I love my kids, and I love my husband. But every once in a while I get overwhelmed. It has been a long time since I've felt completely overwhelmed- I think it was back in Jakey's crying days. I am happy to say, they are few and far between.
However yesterday was one of those days. If you're a mom, you know those days.. House is a mess.. Dinner is taking way too long to cook. Not only do you have a baby on your leg, but you also have a toddler on your leg & they're both whining.
I was thinking last night, I'm always trying to make sure things are perfect. I like my house to be clean, I like dinner to be ready and on the table by 5:30. Next time my kids are whining at me to pick them up and the house isn't as clean as I like it-- I need to remember that it will be okay. It's okay to stop picking up, to stop cleaning, and just snuggle with two perfect little boys who miss their momma. They are my reason for breathing, not my clean house and not a meal, Ryan & Jake are. While they need me for almost everything they do, I need them even more.
So after I threw myself a little pity party because things didn't go the way I wanted them to, I watched The Biggest Loser and cried 5 times. I also ate a bowl of ice cream before bed. I woke up to a 2 year old calling for me where we went back to bed and snuggled. I laid in bed with him for an extra 9 minutes.. we snuggled and held hands. I held him while getting ready for work and we danced to the music on the radio. I also kissed him a million times before I had to leave while his sweet little voice said "Love you, Momma!" as I walked out the door.
During lunch at work, I took a break from grading papers to call my babies. Ryan answered the phone, "Hi Momma!!" I talked to my babies and listened to them giggle.
On my way home from work, I decided that I wasn't going to clean while they were awake and I would hold them when they wanted me to. & I did. I held Jakey while I made dinner.. & I didn't clean up until the kids were sleeping. Ryan even fell asleep early and I had an extra half hour to spend with Jake, which was nice. I get a lot of alone time with Ryan but I don't get any with Jake.
I hope it's a long time before I feel overwhelmed again, I just want to soak in all the time I can while my babies are still so sweet and little.